How many of you are familiar with people designating a word for themselves every year? Or maybe you do it yourself! I think I came up with a good one for 2023 so I wanted to share it with you all because it has a lot to do with what we teach our styling + interior clients. It also has a lot to do with our values and culture here at MH! So here we go....
I chose my word of the year for 2023 to be: ME
Now some people may automatically think it's selfish. However, if you follow me or you're one of my clients you probably don't think it's selfish at all. So what does the word "ME" really mean to me?
ME means investing in myself: If I want a spa day because my body is telling me that I need one, I will. If my body is telling me I need to turn my entrepreneur brain off for the night, push things to the next day and sleep, I will. If I need to take a vacation because the winter gloominess is messing with my mental health, I will. On that vacation, if I want to stay somewhere that is probably a little more than I want to spend, I'm just going to do it...which I just did the other night actually; I'm heading to Miami after the Ready or Hot fashion show I'm doing with Planned Parenthood 🧘🏽♀️
If I want to buy a statement piece of wardrobe that is probably a little more than I want to spend since I'm a big thrifter, I will. If I've always wanted to try a pair of SJP shoes, I will. This hasn't been much of a problem for me, but I'm diving in even more - If I want to wear a bright floral pant in the dead of winter, I effing will! If the outfit looks weird to other people and they tell me or I can just read it on their face that they don't like, I don't care! You do you, I'm doing ME.
If I want to start planning on replacing myself and "retire" (in entrepreneur terms, retiring doesn't mean actually retiring. I'll still be managing and growing the business, so it just means I won't be in the field as much, aka working with clients) in order to focus on what I want to do for myself and my family, I will. If people laugh at me for it and think it's not realistic and I'm just being a typical "millennial", well sorry to say but I'm really good at teaching people - Let's chat within the next 2-5 years. If I want to expand my business and start another branch in Florida because I've always wanted to have a vacation home for my family since I didn't have one growing up, I effing will! Hopefully see all you Floridians in 2024 😉
So where is all this stemming from? My therapy sessions and all of you!
I've always had big goals for MH: Expanding it, helping people beyond just clothes, offering style consulting services to everyone even if they don't have the means to, connecting with people in another way, providing jobs, and being a mentor.
It seems like I've been putting myself first this whole time, but I haven't. As my therapist once said, "You carry too much of other people's sh*t in your backpack". This will forever stick with me. Over the past year, it's been tough and I haven't talked about it with all of you until now.
⚠️The following 2 paragraphs may trigger people as it mentions sexual abuse
As some of you may know, I launched this thing called #IAmStrongerProject. I was sexually abused as a child by my mother's brother for several years. I found fashion as my outlet which is now why I'm a personal stylist. I thought this was a big part of my life to share with you all a couple years ago so you truly understood not only who I am and how it reflects how I work with my clients, but also to show all of you that fashion is so much more than a luxury good. It is about self-care, your mental health, confidence, empowerment, embracing who you and wearing it as art. Well as an abuse victim, I may be over my abuse (no, I did not forgive the abuser nor will I ever) with those occasional triggers and bad days, but it still lives on through an olive branch - My family.
My mother has brought so much turmoil to MY family (my husband and I) that I've developed anxiety and have been carrying so much stress that I honestly feel like I've aged 30 years, especially in the last year. She's the definition of a psychopath, literally. She's also a massive hoarder to the point where if the house was on fire, she wouldn't get out. My dad would because he's mobile....oh yeah, there's that too! She stopped taking care of herself: She can't walk and has to use a walker. She's only in her late 60's! She doesn't shower because she can't get into the bathtub. It's a whole thing, I'm just going to stop there because it's a lot for me to write which says a lot because I'm a blogger. Well speeding it up to this past October, I called the city on her and said their house is an endangerment. I tried to get her committed but mental health services is actually not as accessible as you would think. So there's the verbal and emotional abuse she puts my dad and I through because of it...yes, including my dad, even though I'm the one that called. So long story short, victims of any kind of abuse have it live on even if the abuse is over.
Now going back to my word of the year, I'm choosing ME because of all of this. I have all these goals, all these things I want to do for myself and my husband, all of you, fellow entrepreneurs, I could go on and on. If I don't do what I've been saying I'm going to do for the last couple of years, when am I going to do it? I never will.
So here's a question for all of you - I want you to think of the last time you invested in yourself? Like truly invested in yourself.
This could be a hobby you've always wanted to pick up, a book you've always wanted to read, a movie you've always wanted to see, it could be to finally make it to the gym or say eff the gym and eat what you want because life is too short. It could also be you figuring out who you are and embracing it to its fullest.
A lot of my clients come to me because they're finally ready to invest in themselves. Investing, just like the word ME, doesn't have to mean spending a lot of money. Investing is really just focusing on you! And you know what? You should! I'm not saying this just because I'm a personal stylist, I'm saying this because I'm doing the same thing right now - Including revamping my style just like all of you!
We should all look and feel our best, including myself. If you're having a sh*tty day, you can wear all black to mask how you're feeling, that's okay. However, you could end up feeling great because you look great in that all black outfit. If you are having a great day and want to show it off, wear the brightest piece in your closet and rock it! We all have that go-to piece (or full outfit), go for it!
Some of my clients end up telling me that they almost didn't reach out because it was scary. I totally get it, doing something new can be scary. I heard this saying a long time ago and it stuck with me, "If you're uncomfortable, you're growing". So if you've been wanting to invest in your image, your style, your hair and makeup, or just want to ask me a question or get a simple styling project done, I hope you're getting the courage to do so after reading this post. I'm here FOR YOU and I'm here WITH YOU. Do what makes YOU feel best 💗
Cheers to 2023!
Till next time,
-Melissa
Don't forget,
**excuse the mess on Pinterest, we're currently revamping it to help all of you 😉
And of course, don't forget to visit the rest of my blog posts!
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